The Sing Their Name Choir threw me a lifeline when I was floundering in the absolute despair which followed the death of my beloved son. My world collapsed, became grey and joyless and the future held no attraction in spite of the gestures of support provided by so many people. I knew most of these kind souls could not possibly imagine my pain but I appreciated greatly their good intentions. As a result, I worked hard at putting on a cheerful face to navigate my new existence but the stress of maintaining such a facade was sometimes quite tortuous. At my first meeting of The Choir, however, I felt welcomed into a very special group where I no longer needed to pretend. There was a shared but unspoken agreement that it was OK to not feel OK and that was a tremendous relief for me. The Choir gave me an immediate purpose and focus - to use our voices to raise public awareness of the urgent need for greater suicide prevention measures to be adopted. The power of communal singing has resulted in the experience of joy both during our weekly rehearsals and at our various public performances. That is a priceless gift for which I am truly grateful.
Maureen
Being part of the Sing Their Name Choir has been without doubt instrumental in helping me cope with the loss of my son Joe to suicide in 2020. When Joe died my world fell apart. I thought I would never be able to function again. Bereavement by suicide is very complex, very different to other types of grief. Loved ones left behind have questions that will never be answered no matter how hard they try. I went to support groups for bereaved parents but always felt a bit of an imposter. The first time I went to choir I was made to feel so welcome. Surrounded by a group of people who understand each other and 'get' what we are all going through is the most wonderful peer support. There is hope - as those bereaved for a shorter time can see how others can and have survived. The singing itself is incredibly beneficial. Every week I leave feeling better than when I arrived. The focus on learning new songs, singing harmonies, breathing all help take away the stress of the day through the focus that is required. Singing publicly has helped my own mental health as well as I feel I am raising awareness of life after suicide loss, hopefully spreading the word that life can and does go on, whilst holding those we have loved and lost so very close.
Fran
Our Sing Their Name choir is my comfort blanket.... a place to cry, laugh and shout, express fears, guilts and sadness ... all without judgement... a safe space which offers some respite from the unending pain of losing my beloved son.... It is my new family and, of everything that I have tried over the past 6 years, has brought me more comfort than I could ever have hoped for... And I have learned to sing out loud, without holding back, thanks to the amazing talent and never ending patience of our musical director; Dan McDwyer.
Pauline
I love to sing, and there are numerous mental health benefits from being in a choir. Singing with people who really understand the pain of what I have gone through (losing my sister to suicide) is an invaluable part of my support system. It is a time each week to put down the burden of grief, and be able to talk completely honestly, without having to think about how it will be received. Everyone in the choir has their own suicide bereavement experience, meaning that they have an understanding of my situation that those who have not experienced it cannot possibly have. It is an absolute lifeline, and an essential part of keeping going.
Alice
I joined the choir in October 2023, eighteen months after my daughter Julie died by suicide. The choir has been my saviour, the whole group welcomed me with open arms, lots of love and hugs, it truly has become my favourite place to be. We are all on the same journey and fully understand each other. Suicide isn’t a ‘normal’ bereavement and leaves family and friends isolated. I would be devastated if the choir finished and know that I wouldn’t get the same support anywhere else. Also, Adele and Dan are both fantastic, supporting and encouraging us all every week and at our singing events.
Janet
I joined the choir in Jan 2024 after losing my daughter Zoey 9 months earlier .I never imagined myself in a choir but I had seen Sing their name choir on tv and followed them on social media and thought I’d go along and see what they are about the first person I spoke to asked me “who have you lost and how long ago” followed by a warm sincere hug as I was in floods of tears. It’s the most beautiful supportive group it’s a safe place, it’s real and knowing you’re not alone in your shared grief journey is comforting. The singing is emotional and powerful I always come away feeling a little step closer to healing.
Nadia
I have gained a whole new family and support group as well as the choir and singing doing amazing things to help with my mental health.
Pete
I lost my husband to suicide in 2014. Whilst I am lucky to have supportive friends and family members, there is an unspoken bond with others who have also lost someone they love to suicide. They just get it. And the singing is so cathartic - I feel like I sing the slate clean every week.
Lahra
The choir has been brilliant both in terms of improving mental health by singing and from the peer support and friendships developed with other choir members. It's a brilliant way to honour our loved ones.
Katie
The choir has been an incredible support to me after losing my sister to suicide. I felt so lost when she died and couldn’t find anyone who understood my pain. Without a level of understanding it’s hard to support someone on this journey, this was so evident for the first couple of years. When I first heard about a choir starting up for people bereaved by suicide, I jumped at the chance of being a part of it. Singing was one of my sister’s many talents and she really did have the voice of an angel. I felt through the power of music and singing I could reconnect with her energy on some level. I also wanted to do something that would make her proud and keep her memory alive. Nothing could have prepared me for the journey I was taking and the friendships I was going to make. I look forward to choir practise weekly and seeing the special people that collectively sing their hearts out for their loved ones. We laugh, we cry and we hold space for each other to talk about our loved ones and what their loss means to us. There is no safer space when you are bereaved by suicide. I am beyond proud of the journey we are taking together led by Dan and Adele.
Andrea
Being part of Sing Their Name Choir is like being swept up in the biggest hug from someone who really understands, someone who is family. Losing someone you love to suicide brings with it grief, guilt and a whole myriad of emotions and feelings that can consume your very being. Life as you know it and the person you once were will never, ever be the same.
I lost my daughter, Beth, to suicide in March 2020, she was seventeen. In that instant my life, and that of everyone who loved and knew Beth, was shattered beyond comprehension. I joined Sing Their Name Choir at its inception. Walking through the door to our very first rehearsal wasn't easy but in that moment, I knew I was with people who understood my pain. And that's it, we all understand the complexities of losing a loved one to suicide and we also know that it's ok to cry, laugh, stay quiet and most of all sing out loud. Sing Their Name Choir has given me a whole new family of people who I know will hug me, dry my tears, laugh with me and stand alongside me in my grief. In singing we are turning our pain into something positive.
Helen
The choir is fabulous! Joining was one of the best decisions I’ve made since losing my young son Lee Ridgway eight years ago . It’s very therapeutic and I come home from each session feeling so much better , it’s a real highlight of my week.
The benefits ,physical and emotional, are enormous . The way I have to breathe during warm ups and singing promotes new neural pathway connections in the brain which elevate mood and reduces stress . It’s astonishing really .
Our brilliant musical director gently guides our voices in a very compassionate way so we’re improving all the time . Learning new skills is definitely confidence boosting.
The song choices personally resonate , connecting me to my son , honouring him , but also fortifying me , anthem-like , reminding me how far I’ve come on my grief journey .
That’s comforting , I’m very proud of Lee and I’m sure he’s proud of me too , taking these positive steps in his memory. Learning the tunes , notes and melodies , all new to me , harmonising to be the best I can ….for him. The practice nights are enriching and a joy to attend . We’ve already performed at some very special services in prestigious venues around the country which has been wonderful. We’ve brought hope to others already , I wish to continue this in the future .
Through song I feel that I’m adding my voice to suicide awareness , prevention and bereavement in order to bring hope to others as well as empowering myself . Another legacy to my beautiful boy , turning pain into something positive. Using my experience in a valuable way whilst growing stronger , enjoying music and discovering new songs.
I believe we’re not just a choir , we’ve become a vital peer support network, a collective band of suicide bereaved people experiencing joint understanding and empathy . A tribe of singing grief warriors travelling together on a path to strength and healing .
Further friendship and bonds have formed , along with social meet-ups , long after the words have been sung . Our very active WhatsApp group attests to that ! I’m reassured that I’m not alone and would recommend anyone to join a choir …..ours is always open to new members .
Though we met through tragedy sharing many tears there’s also laughter in the choir , lots of it ,amongst heartfelt hugs and smiles …. human connections so necessary for wellbeing and growth.
I like to think our cherished people have met some place else , at peace , taking care of each other just as we are doing in our new found circle of support .
The biggest benefit for me though is that I still feel I’ve got another valuable life long role as Lee’s mum …. literally singing in his name 🎶💛🎶 Telling his story , caring for him , loving him always , paying tribute to my precious child …. and that’s priceless 💛
Thelma